This article is part of In Session: The Teen Vogue Lesson Plan. Find the full lesson plan here.
Across the United States, sex education curriculum is severely lacking. Many receive abstinence-only education, which can leave out important things like the emotional aspects of sex, how to use protection, and that it is not only normal to have sex, but normal to seek pleasure from sex.
I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma and my sex education did not prepare me at all. In middle school, I was asked to sign an abstinence pledge. In high school, the only time I heard anything about the LGBTQ community was when we watched a video on HIV/AIDS. I felt alone. I was a closeted queer and trans person who had no idea how to voice what felt good. Because I never heard the term transgender during sex education, I thought that there was something wrong with me for not feeling like a girl.
I am certainly not alone in my experiences as a transgender person feeling like an outsider in discussions surrounding sex. So, I talked to 12 transgender people from across the country about their experience with sex education and how curriculum can improve to be more inclusive of transgender bodies.
Include Education Specific for Transgender People
Most sex education curriculum is geared specifically toward cisgender, straight people. As such, transgender people are not getting information that is necessary for their own bodies and sexual experiences.
Not all transgender people experience gender dysphoria, but for those who do, it can be very difficult to have sex at all. Val Wiestner of Alhambra, California, said that a discussion of gender dysphoria in sex education courses would be helpful for cis- and transgender people alike.
“I think it would be amazing for these classes to include things like gender dysphoria. As a trans man…I have found myself having to explain over and over about my body and why I do not like certain things,” he said. Liam Gillin, a student at Marist College, echoed a similar statement. “Something I wish I had learned in sex education was more about how you can stay safe as someone who was [assigned female at birth] and LGBTQ+, and more about how to alleviate gender dysphoria during sexual activity.”
Genitals Don’t Equal Gender
Often, students are separated into two groups (by gender) for their sex education. This can mean students are not getting holistic or accurate education on body parts and bodily functions. When we separate students by their assumed genitalia for sex education, we are reinforcing the idea that genitals are equal to gender, and that there is no difference between sex and gender. This is a bioessentialist viewpoint, teaching people that gender is biological, rather than a cultural construction.
“My experience with sex education was, being in Oklahoma, abysmal,” Aileen Gibson, a student at the University of Oklahoma, said. “While I was taught about safe sex once, the majority of it was awful. The ‘boys’ learned only about the ‘male’ reproductive system, ‘female’ secondary sex characteristics, and what a ‘male’ orgasm looked like. I didn’t even know what a tampon was until sophomore year of high school, (which I had to look up because I had no clue).”
By educating students in a less binary-centric format, transgender youth could find more validation and acceptance from themselves and their peers.
“One of the easiest ways for sex ed curriculums to be more inclusive is to drop the outdated language of ‘female body parts versus male body parts’ and teach everyone about the human body together while acknowledging the vast array of intersex people whose anatomy may not fit into the simple, standard boxes of male and female,” said University of Michigan student Elijah Haswell. “My uterus is not a ‘female body part.’ It’s just that — a uterus.”
Removing the idea that gender and genitals are one and the same can also work to reduce violence against transgender people.
“As a trans person, specifically an agender individual, I wish I could’ve been taught from an early age that genitalia does not define your own gender identity or realm of existence,” said University of Central Oklahoma student Fernanda Casanova. “Specifically teaching sex ed without trans inclusion or overall intersectionality is an act of violence against trans people. That type of mind-set will continue to marginalize trans individuals. You cannot teach separately either; cis individuals also need to know about trans education. That is how you can start to avoid violence against the trans community.”
Teach Alternatives to Heteronormative Sex
There are many ways to have sex outside of a man putting his penis inside a woman’s vagina. By not informing students of other methods of having sex, many may be left with the idea that there is no way for them to safely and pleasurably have sex — especially if they are transgender or gender nonconforming.
“As a nonbinary and gender-fluid person who is also queer, one thing I wish I learned in sex education is more about safer sex between people of the same sex,” said Christine Miyazato. “My sex education mostly revolved around sex that involved cisgender people and heterosexual relationships, so I never really got to learn about what safer sex could look like between people of the same sex. Most of my knowledge about the matter came from going to LGBTQ-inclusive sex ed workshops on my college campus or by word of mouth and from listening to friends’ personal experiences.”
Offer Medically Accurate Education Beyond Abstinence Only
By now, we know that abstinence-only sex education does not work. This method of sex education is not helpful for any students, but particularly for transgender youth who are trying to figure out their gender or what sex looks like for them.
“My sex ed teacher in high school actively sought to teach an abstinence-first mind-set, and all mentions of anatomy, hormones, biological processes were painfully gendered,” said George Washington University student Aedy Miller.
It is also imperative that transgender students are receiving medically accurate information about sex, though most states don’t require sex education to live up to that standard.
“Because public school education is largely state-controlled, sex education policy and curriculum vary wildly from state to state,” said Sin Guanci, a Ph.D. student at Ohio State University. “Accordingto the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the U.S. (SIECUS) 2018 state profiles, only 31 states and D.C. mandate sex education, seven require culturally appropriate sex ed and HIV/STI instruction, only 12 require that sex education be medically accurate, and only four states mandate that health education affirmatively recognize different sexual orientations and gender identities/expressions (SOGIE) or teach the dignity or worth of all people regardless of SOGIE.”
Guanci said that the lack of policy requiring that sex-education “recognize and affirm” all people based on their sexuality or gender is not the biggest barrier. Unfortunately, seven states prohibit the mention of LGBTQ people in sex ed except for when it comes to portraying them negatively in terms of disease transmission. This inaccurate information can make transgender youth feel like they need to stay in the closet or that there is something wrong with simply being who they are.
Talk About Consent and Healthy Relationships
Setting boundaries and understanding what consent looks like is vital information for all students in sex education. For transgender people in particular, it can make all the difference in the world when it comes to a sexual encounter being safe and affirming or traumatic and dysphoria-inducing.
AC Facci from Oklahoma City said that pleasure and consent should be discussed more meaningfully by sex educators. “I have a vague memory of learning what constituted sexual assault but I never remember being taught anything that affirmed my ability to say no at any point during a sexual encounter, not just before sex began,” they said.
It is also important that sex educators accurately discuss what healthy relationships look like, especially for students who are LGBTQ.
“I wish that asexuality had been covered, and that there had been more open conversations about emotional involvement rather than just sex itself. Knowing how healthy relationship dynamics work could have saved me and a lot of people I know from some awful and just awkward situations,” said James Washburn, a student of Cornish College of the Arts.
Understand That Inclusion of Trans People Can Save Lives
“During sex education, I often felt alone,” said Athena Schwartz. “I felt like I couldn't talk about myself or my identity. As someone who has been very passionate about health education, I felt trapped in my shell. I felt like I was watching the class behind a wall; like I was an outsider. A lot of what I learned about trans people was outside of my own high school. I had to go out of my way to even learn the term nonbinary. While I loved what I learned outside of high school, I wish that it was taught in school. I think if more people learned about trans people, then more people would be inclusive toward us.”
When we do not include transgender people in sex education, it can cause significant distress to people from those communities who are present. It can be incredibly invalidating to have educators never acknowledge your existence, especially if you are not finding support outside of the classroom. Just having educators that support their needs and validate their experiences can make all the difference in the world for transgender youth.
“Simply having a word for one’s experience can provide a world of comfort and open the door to greater introspection, self-understanding, and a more comfortable orientation toward the world,” said Jamie, who asked that his last name be omitted. “Having a space for these discussions, even just acknowledgement of the existence of these discussions at the bare minimum, is invaluable to young trans lives.”
Another important step that sex educators can take is to let students know that it is okay to be trans — that being transgender does not make you a burden or mentally ill, that your feelings and gender are nothing to be ashamed of.
“I wish I’d been told that the feelings I was having were okay to feel,” said Aedy Miller. “I wish they’d taken a more expansive approach and taught us more about gender identity as opposed to just sex/anatomy, as that might’ve given me the words to describe how I was feeling in a safe environment.”
